Sunday, July 5, 2009

one of "those moments"

Recently, I found my self having one of "those moments"....you know the kind where you feel sorry for your self and just sad? I don't know if it had anything to do with me recently turning 35 or not. Generally speaking, I am upbeat and positive, but I think "life" just finally caught up with me...

Vinny will be turing one this week, so I have been spending a lot of time thinking about this past year...

So much in my life has changed, I have changed and have learned so much from this beautiful little boy...

A year ago, I was working full time, running our household, and taking care of our three boys...

Life seemed so easy and simple...

Although I am an occupational therapist, I NEVER thought I would have been able to care for a special needs baby...

I didn't think I would be able to do it...I guess I was wrong...God has a lesson for us in everything that he does!

Here I am a year later, a stay at home mom...Don't get me wrong, but I never thought in a million years this would be what I was doing!

It is alot harder than some can imagine!

I am sad that my husband has to work so much overtime that we never get to see each other and when we do we don't even have a chance to hang out, because life is crazy with our boys!

I miss him!

I am sad at times when I look at my neighbors and friends' children who were all born with in months of Vinny starting to walk and do all of the "typical" one year old things...

I get tired of always having to explain Vinny's long eye lashes and lot's of hair to people...

I get irritated when it is all of a sudden it is 10 pm and I haven't done half of the activities that I wanted to do with Vinny and my boys...

o.k....now I am over it....I feel better that I just got to type it all out and tell the world!

I am lucky and fortunate to have 4 healthy thriving little boys!

I am in love with each of my little men and am fortunate that I get to stay home each and every day with them!

I am happy that I am not missing out on the milestones, accomplishments, and funny things that they come up with...

I am thankful that I can be there to help my parents and sister out when they need it...
I am happy that I get to be with Vinny and encourage and care for him every day!

So what if I feel like telling the lady at Walmart to "F" off because she keeps staring at my kid when I tell her he is almost one years old...

And so what if the little neighbor boy tells me that Vinny looks like one of the babies off of "How the Grinch Stole Christmas"...

Vinny reminds me each day that I should be happy and thankful for the little things in life!

When life is frustrating or hard, I just look at him and melt in his smile and little laugh...

All though life can be frustrating and difficult at times raising a special needs little boy, it also brings so much joy and happiness!

5 comments:

  1. Awwwww Staci - it's okay to feel sad and frustrated sometimes. It happens to all of us. I know some days I really look forward to Joey's therapy sessions and other days I just wish we didn't have to mess with all that "stuff". I don't like the fact that Joey has to work so hard every day but it has helped make us all stronger people. We try to get by day by day. I am sorry to read about your run in with the neighbor boy. It brings tears to my eyes. I am sad
    that had to happen. Vinny is adorable - give him some smooches from me. Thank you for your heartfelt post - keep the positive attitude and hang in there!

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  2. I HATE feeling like if I'm not being positive I'm not advocating for my daughter right ... or something. I'm sorry you were having a down day, I'm glad you got it out! Vinny is awesome and adorable. [[hugs]]

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  3. Ugh. I definitely have those days too. I don't know how i missed it but I don't think I knew you were an OT.

    hang in there! It would be so much easier if we were all closer to each other!!!

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  4. i agree with heidi! let's all sell our houses and all of our posessions and move to the same neighborhood!! LMAO! Staci... there must be something in the air. i have been having 'that kinda week' myself. i know all too well how you feel in every aspect of what you wrote!

    we are all here for you no matter what! we are here for eachother! :)

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  5. Staci...this is one of the most heartfelt blogs I've read. I'm glad that you were able to get it all out and that you felt better. Call me sometime. I'm just around the corner and am home most of the time lately. I can't believe school is starting soon. Maybe then we'll have more time to hang out.

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